My senior moment
by Paul E. Kandarian
Ah, April, ‘tis spring, when a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. And a middle-aged man’s fancy turns to thoughts of disemboweling store clerks offering senior discounts.
I knew it had to happen sooner or later, hearing someone utter the two words I feared the most as I hit my late 50s. Those would be “senior discount,” and it happened at The Market at Pinehills in Plymouth.
“Do you want the discount?”
I froze. I knew, instinctively, what he meant. You don’t live 58 years on Planet Earth without developing a keen sense of intuition about such things you’d prefer to ignore.
He’ll be waiting. But until then, did you know we’re having a sale on Depends?”
I shambled out of the store, dejected. The sun was still out. It was still a bright, sunshiny day. Then it hit me: There are so few of these days left. ...http://issuu.com/coastalmags/docs/scpt_